Satir workshops

In studying the spaces between two letters, or two birds in a flock, we can distinguish some universal temporal patterns that we can use for building healthy relationships, as long as we remain aware hopes and wishes of both parties in any relationship may change.

Meeting for the first time

The first phase is like a romantic meeting. The desire for a relationship is acknowledged by both parties, and the other party seems to fit the gestalt of a perfect partner. During romantic encounters we seem to carefully check each other out, and whether the other party meets some basic conditions. We flirt.

Going out together

In the next stage the two parties determine to meet with more intensity. Both acquire some relationship experience, and whether the other party has the knowledge and skills to meet their respective needs, wants and desires. Positive interactions and appreciations are crucial, for this phase is a context setting for the next phases by gathering and agreeing on rules.

Marriage

Now both parties commit to a long term relationship that can deepen and crystallize the respective roles. Most important during this phase are high quality and performance, and offering extra services can keep a relationship vital in this phase. Required cost and energy are much lower than in the previous phases, for the parties believe to know each other to a certain extent.

Having Children

With expectations, strategy and nature of the relationship set in previous phases in balanced ways, this phase becomes an expression of a strong and loyal relationship. Purpose is stabilisation and maintenance to the advantage of both parties.

Translation to business relationships

These four phases can also be applied to business partners, developers and managers, and client and customer relationships. Not all relationships go through these patterns. During each of these four forming patterns, one of the two parties can break off the engagement. Yet, the further we are in the patterns, more loyalty is built up, and breaking off the relationship in favour of an alternative, becomes less and less attractive. We can get stuck in uneven relationships, if we're not careful.

And sometimes relationships become so uneven that our health and dreams are threatened, and all alternatives seem more attractive than staying in the relationship. We best leave and renew ourselves, for we just ran out of karma to be with that other person, and there can be no dharma without karma.