Thirty-some years ago, I recorded some tracks in a barn studio in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, just about a year after that I decided to drop out of the music business and finally, after a seven year delay, enroll in university.
Well, I've done a few different things since then, but I've always gravitated back into writing songs. Last weekend some friends stayed with us and, as usual, I performed a few of my songs for them.... Here's the first recording of Paint Me A Picture, and my first musical recording in a very, very long time.... I hope you enjoy it.
Podcast
Paint Me A Picture
I’m workin’ my way through
Only two more sets to go and I’ll be gone.
The spotlight sees right through me,
But I don’t think it shows,
I mean I’m holdin’ on.
‘Cause I’ve been deceiving myself through the worst of it
Just hopin’ to make the best of it someday
Hey, hey.
I’ve been feelin’ way past due,
and smelling your smile in every other song.
I thought these spotlights ought to free me,
how was I to know
that they would hold so strong?
Here I am living my dream of the best of it,
while dreaming of the rest I left behind to play.
Hey hey!
Paint me a picture of the world as it should be
The world as it could be with all of her charms.
and write me a letter on old motel paper,
Just anything handy could brighten my day.
You’re so far away
I know you’ll trundle off to bed
Thinkin’, “He’s out there somewhere,
Singin’ his heart out to a room full of recent strangers,
While the one he really cares about sleeps soundly.”
Is life ever what it seems?
Does my voice betray what I dare not say in song?
Before this spotlight ever caught me,
We’d managed to survive
by simply holdin’ on.
we held on tight through the thick of it,
Though I’ve been losing my grip when I slip onto this stage.
hey, hey!!
So paint me a picture of the world as it should be
The world as it could be with all of her charms
And write me a letter on old motel paper
Just anything handy could brighten my day
You’re so far away
I know you hate to go to bed
Thinkin’ I’m out there somewhere,
Singin’ My Heart Out to a room full of empty strangers
While the one I really care about sleeps lonely.
I’m workin’ my way through
Only two more sets to go and I’ll be gone.
The spotlight sees right through me,
But I don’t think it shows,
I mean I’m holdin’ on.
‘Cause I’ve been deceiving myself through the worst of it
Just hopin’ to make the best of it someday
Still hopin’ to make the best of it someday,
Hopin’ to make the best of this someday.
11/29/2008
©2008 by David A.
With my sincere apologies to those (like me) who could really care less about improving software practice, but who might have an interest in historical patterns, I submit this excerpt from an overlong post to a Yahoo Discussion Group.... The suits understand that there's no leverage in being a trailblazer (no royalties to earn on trails blazed, just perhaps a short-term commission to explore and write a report, maybe trap a few beaver along the way), or in being a pioneer (free land, but you have to build your own cabin and prove the land by living on it for X years)....
So, SEI shoved out those pioneers who wouldn't submit, or drove them deep underground, replacing them with compliant, well-educated suits who know how things are supposed to be done, often without ever having actually done any of it themselves.... Well, at least they embrace the endless possibility of achieving this, without ever actually achieving this.
Well, they argue, most of what we do ain't properly characterized as either trailblazing or pioneering. ...The Farm Bureau has been insisting on 'a level playing field,' encouraging state and federal regulators to insist that small producers comply with the same rules that commodity producers are held to, even though the context is world's different.... None of them would properly adopt as necessary the agricultural equivalent of the DoD's EVPM system or even CMM, which was never intended to be used in their context, anyway.... The big guys might peek into their world and longingly sigh, remembering when farming was for them family and not corporate farming, but were they to adopt wholesale the agile practices, their system, which depends upon different leverage points, wouldn't sustain them.
Metaphors paint pictures we can see, and imagine ourselves stepping into. Arguably less real than the science bits, they unchain the door to deeper understanding. Even science depends upon myth-making and story-telling to make real progress.
The final installment of my series considering The Ethical Responsibilities of Project Work appeared last week in Projects@Work.
What did I learn?... I relearned that as a human, I can't expect myself to be endlessly mindful, but I can appreciate just how critical my own mindfulness is.... Of course, as a human, I'm likely to yank and faunch for a while before I remember mindfulness, but that's okay, too.
The failure modes are polar opposites and exact equivalents: expecting to avoid mindlessness and expecting to be mindful.... We can likewise depend upon mindfulness, but not always upon where we'll find it.
This is, as I wrote long ago, a sloppy opera and a stupid ballet.... What we choose to do when we don't know what to do makes all the difference in the world.
Tipping Points are powerful, but iffy.... In the men's rooms there, each urinal has the image of a fly etched near the bottom of the bowl. This subtle bit of context architecture has reduced the amount of 'spashback' needing to be cleaned up.... What boy worth his salt could miss?
Tickle Points are tiny nudges, guiding you where you probably prefer to go (excuse the expression) anyway. Where posters encourage disobedience, and process descriptions produce zzzzzzzs, Tickle Points gently nudge compliance into being.
Ever notice how no one ever cusses at grandma's table, though no one ever prohibits it? Grandma's table is a powerful context marker that renders the urge to cuss unthinkable, and so undoable.
In our process-obscessed culture, we miss this subtle point.
But this was a huge enterprise aiming at getting even larger, targeting economies of scale....
I once calculated that if my newborn son continued growing at the rate he grew that first month, he'd outweigh the Empire State Building before he was twenty.... A lot of wineries that pre-sell everything they produce and don't aspire to get any bigger than they've ever been.... When their value outgrew the volume of all other trades, they became an ever-taller house of cards balanced on the head of a relatively ever-tinier pin.... Though this created ever more jobs for managers, it resulted in ever less space for the people populating those positions to do what people do well....
Those who embraced something less than the industrial ideal of growing to produce an ever-larger scale slime trail were marginalized during the recent run-up.
Fact might be that none of us have any personal experience with 'an economy,' which doesn't exist anywhere but as a network of figments.... We thrive on 'em. Until they do us in.
Our certainty is the most curious part of our relationship with figments.... The size of the boat relative to the size of the body of water that formerly floated it puts the bailer in a weak position.... And the bucket remarkably small in comparison.
I read this week that the value of hedged instruments was estimated at perhaps ten times the annual gross world product.... Well, few understood how to value what was there before, either, but it's easier to float on a positive figment than a negative one. We love positive figments and fear the negative ones.
Maybe we only ever come close to experience the real power of collective figment certainty when the bottom falls out from under our confidently maintained fantasy because we experience real hunger then.
Project Ethics (Part III)
There's a link back to the second installment there, too.
This series, the final installment will be posted next week, encapsulates what I've retained about project work. The distillation might make some of it hard for you to swallow, but this is how it is for me over here.... What wouldn't even register then on my innocent radar has taken central position in my understanding now.
The executive summary: Project Ethics are about choice.... Does it follow then that creating choice is the key to satisfying the ethical responsibilities of project work?
The challenge is that the choice points are cloaked, hidden from casual observation. It might even be true for you, as it most certainly has been for me, that the greater the choice point, the less it feels like one in that moment where my choice might make all the difference.
The series became a treatise on mindfulness.... The editor there likes people to leave comments, and so do I, though I don't always know how to respond to them.
"The M&M or Motherhood and Mismatch Strategy was conceived by the American strategist, Col. John R.... The basic goal of an M&M strategy is to build support for and attract the uncommitted to your cause by framing a "motherhood" position -- i.e., a position no one can object to, like the mythical "motherhood, apple pie, and the American way" -- and then inviting your opponent in to repeatedly attack it and, in so doing, smash himself to pieces at the mental and the even more decisive moral level of conflict. Self-destruction will happen inevitably, if you can successfully induce your adversary into attacking your motherhood position in a way that exposes mismatches among the three poles of his moral triangle, defined by (1) What your opponent says he is; (2) What he really is as defined by his actions; and (3) the World he has to deal with. Whether consciously or not, I believe Obama has an intuitive feel for the moral leverage inherent in the M&M strategy and this enabled him to outmaneuver McCain and his campaign and bring them to the verge of mental and moral collapse.... I claim that while teamwork is nice and even useful, it cannot meaningfully influence outcome without using it with a broader, ProjectCommunity mindset that considers everyone who can effect and everyone effected by the effort on equal us-ness with the core team.... Even those who concede, but continue to consider the community to be comprised of 'stakeholders', over time grow to appreciate what it feels like to be considered a vampire with stakeholders stalking them.
I'm also seeing this strategy used in what feels to me to be a destructive way, though I guess any strategy that succeeds in producing an outcome I don't support might be fairly characterized as destructive.
News yesterday from a Silicon Valley correspondent reports that PMI meetings there have swelled with attendants.... It's been several years since I attended any PM-related conference where the out-of-work PMs and PM consultant wanna-bes didn't greatly outnumber those who were there to share information.
Just yesterday, I reviewed yet another job description claiming to want someone capable of bringing projects in consistently on-time, on-budget, and on-spec.
Contracting for government work these days requires the applicant to engage in the most absurd fantasizing, as if, before work began, one could with some precision, spreadsheet hours by major task, then sign some dotted line validation of the bid's accuracy.
I thought we might have learned better by now.... What passes for professional practice in the Project Management "Profession" today wouldn't quite qualify as prostitution in most professions, and would be indictable, even convict-able in several. What went wrong?
I think the aspiration that focused upon making project management a profession on par with dentistry or occupational therapy turned it into its opposite.... More critically, where will we convince anyone chased away by all this foolishness to come back and risk doing some real discovering, some genuine skulduggery to accomplish something, anything never even imagined before?
In celebration of International Project Managers' Day, don't join in any celebration.... What we used to have to earn with every engagement, the certification to actually guide the effort, could only be bestowed afterwards, and had little currency the next time. Hired with misgivings, misunderstood, sometimes reviled most of the way, the worthy ones walked away from the successful ones with a little less than a nod of appreciation, and needed not even that!
I mention this duck because I've been deeply considering what it is that I do, and as usual, this reflection leaves me feeling like an odd duck.
Like my duck, I imprinted early on a medium of expression that few would equate to my later career(s).... Silly or serious, I have pretty much always been a songwriter.
Because of this, I have an odd-duck sense of form and style that remains mysterious, even to me.... I'd try to explain what was missing, but even to me, my descriptions sounded like so much odd-duck quacking.
What is this felt sense?... So is the craft of life.
Odd ducklings that we all are, we each imprinted early upon some primary means for expressing ourselves in the world.... No need to explain or reform, just quack like the duck you know you are.
As a songwriter, I long ago abandoned the notion that I needed to write like Frank Loesser or Dave Frishberg, both true masters.... (Dave Frishberg has an eloquent word or two to say about Songwriting.)
In business as well as in life, the desire to mimic style seems imperative under the don't re-invent the wheel doctrine.
If we do, indeed, actually live in a world where we are all connected and no one's in charge, what regulating force might we depend upon?... Our choices matter more simply because we are so tightly connected and because no one is in charge.
My mother, bless her heart, has lived her life trying to get away with something, anything. I think her great grandfather was ruined in one of the late-ninteenth century financial panics, and her family's language rails a lot about the plutocrats, those who lead simply because they are wealthy.... Always trying to get away with something, apparently for the simple joy of feeling in charge.
Her sense that she is not in charge seems to encourage some of her more irresponsible actions.... Later, we learn that some critical constituent has been carrying stones in his pocket ever since, and has positioned himself squarely between our imagined efficiency and our aspired-to goal, and we cannot get there from where we've innocently positioned ourselves and our misbegotten project.... Ethics are simply choices, well-informed or poorly informed makes all the difference in a world or a project where we're all connected and no one's ever really in charge.
Well, it wasn't just them saying this, I've said it myself.
What happened to "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again?"
Not in the modern corporation, thank yew.... Looking back (and then projecting forward), I can't see a single situation, other than that time when I decided to jump out of that tree onto a steep slope and cracked a metatarsal bone where, "We tried that once and it didn't work" actually worked. What worked, or seems to have worked so far, involved a lot of "We kept trying, even though it didn't work at first." Some stubborn someone wasting time, money, and reputation on what they (and perhaps no other at first) were convinced held some potential merit, until it did.... What if they are?
"It’s not only in the United States that the Depression-era tendency to “throw the bums out” looks like something less than a rational policy judgment.... In the adjacent agricultural province of Alberta, voters replaced a socialist party with a right-leaning party created from scratch by a charismatic radio preacher peddling a flighty share-the-wealth scheme, and the economy improved.... In every case, the party that happened to be in power when the Depression eased went on to dominate politics for a decade or more thereafter.
Of course, it's silly that merely reciting the Bard would make the difference our clients sought, but not knowing the Bard might well prevent the change we all aspired to.
We've all been subjected to the next best thing, delivered by someone clueless about the present history supporting everything.... Change, whatever its intent, needs to be melded with the familiar status quo if it is to be meaningful and successful.
So, the next time I (even you) intend to make something different, remember to brush up on whatever amounts to Shakespeare there first. As Virginia Satir said a very long time ago, "Change rests upon the full, albeit temporary acknowledgment of the way things are."
For much of my working life, I have been a strong advocate for meaningful work.... But today, I want to sing the praises of an under-appreciated kind of work, meaningless work.
Meaningless work is an act of selflessness.... No mugging for the virtual camera, no showing off for whatever passes for company.
When I am my work and my work is me, we transcend meaning.... We, my work and I, become one, a dance of joy between hand and surface, between time and soul, between mine and mindlessness.
I labor to exhaustion, not to become exhausted.... I am not investing my time or consciously expressing myself, just being here---not there, now---not then, the purpose perfectly tautological, explaining nothing at all.... No one will long remember, not even I will notice that time and action performed in perfect silent harmony and that time, for an unmeasured moment, stopped moving in any discernible direction and simply was.... Or both sometimes.
I pose today, understanding that those who throw their rational mind between themselves and their sight might only see me working slowly, when I'm merely dancing with meaningless work, slow work.
He finally proclaimed, exasperated, that “this isn’t rocket science!”... The larger problem, as I later told him, was that he was not a rocket scientist.
I suggested in my recent post, You Suck@Projects, that the lousy level of understanding in the executive suite about projects contributes a great deal --- quite probably more than any other single factor --- to the continuing poor performance of projects.... Tighten down the screws until no degree of freedom remains, then complain about how unresponsive the effort is.
Ignorance fueled by authority equals true stupidity.
This week, we’ve been watching while a Congress, clearly ignorant about even the first principles of economics, wrestles with a shit-simple decision. Distracting each other with finger pointing from atop lofty principles, insisting upon a label that misrepresents the outcome, insisting infant-like that irrelevant issues also be addressed as a part of the “solution,” then complaining that the resulting response doesn’t actually solve anything.
Where has the metaphor machine gone that managed to label a bill destined to disenfranchise a third of students No Child Left Behind?... No, it’s not just a matter of simply hitting the chosen target, rocket science is all about maintaining scrupulous attention to just how far off course you are at any point in time.... How Christian are they?
The rest of the world stands gape-mouthed as we chop the legs out from under ourselves --- and them, too.
We are no more rocket scientists than we are project managers.
For centuries, tribes who’s territories bordered this region of endless rolling, silty loess hills, considered The Palouse to be neutral territory, common grazing land, a place where horses would not be stolen and war would not be waged.... Best to pay attention and use the speed control to help you go slow enough to avoid the contribution to the county.
The drive up through The Palouse is a great place to talk, and Amy and I chatted last week as we chugged through.... Is it market or marketing?
The insight that came to me in that conversation was that the very term consultant serves as a context marker, one that poorly frames what consultants actually do.
Look at the questions clients ask: How much will it cost?... This is failure for a contractor, but success for a consultant.
Taking these rather limited definitions of contractor and consultant, I claim that contractors produce first-order change while consultants produce second-order transformation, but I might be the only one in the world making this distinction. What I didn’t fully appreciate until that drive through The Palouse, was that the label consultant introduces a change context rather than a transformation one.... As I noted in my last post , we chase the old status quo first, trying to restore cows that have already escaped from the barn.
The Palouse Insight claims that the words we use to describe what we do confuse us all- client as well as consultant.... For the consultant, no two situations are similar enough to serve as template, though there are principles, meta-perspectives, which won’t make any sense to anyone except, perhaps, the practitioner.
So, consultant is a lousy label.
For centuries, tribes who’s territories bordered this region of endless rolling, silty loess hills, considered The Palouse to be neutral territory, common grazing land, a place where horses would not be stolen and war would not be waged.... Best to pay attention and use the speed control to help you go slow enough to avoid the contribution to the county.
The drive up through The Palouse is a great place to talk, and Amy and I chatted last week as we chugged through.... Is it market or marketing?
The insight that came to me in that conversation was that the very term consultant serves as a context marker, one that poorly frames what consultants actually do.
Look at the questions clients ask: How much will it cost?... This is failure for a contractor, but success for a consultant.
Taking these rather limited definitions of contractor and consultant, I claim that contractors produce first-order change while consultants produce second-order transformation, but I might be the only one in the world making this distinction. What I didn’t fully appreciate until that drive through The Palouse, was that the label consultant introduces a change context rather than a transformation one.... As I noted in my last post , we chase the old status quo first, trying to restore cows that have already escaped from the barn.
The Palouse Insight claims that the words we use to describe what we do confuse us all- client as well as consultant.... For the consultant, no two situations are similar enough to serve as template, though there are principles, meta-perspectives, which won’t make any sense to anyone except, perhaps, the practitioner.
So, consultant is a lousy label.
A lot like the debate over granting war powers prior to the Iraqi intrusion, and we know how THAT turned out.
Taking this to an area I know something about, on projects there are four or five critical failure modes when it's discovered that a project's in trouble.... We've already lived for a long time with it busted.
Second, there's always a hair-on-fire urgency to do something - literally anything, probably to recover our sense of mastery and control more than to actually fix anything. Of course, the toup's flaming creates the worst possible context for deciding anything mindfully.
Third, the initial strategies for resolving always involve recovery, rather than transformation, even though recovery will only produce more of what's already proven to not work.... The belief that there is a root cause, and that finding that root cause will necessarily allow undoing the past, is the real root cause.... If not, probably not.
The conversation around 'resolving the credit crisis' is stepping into every one of these.
Often, in my experience, embracing an "Anything But That!"