Satir workshops

Forgiveness can be motivated from all directions, by religion, love, philosophy, appreciation for the forgiveness of others, empathy, personal temperament, and pragmatism and I can imagine many more

Forgiveness is perhaps a requirement for world peace, for without it, karma would create new karma, would create new karma, would create new karma, .... and we may find ourselves in a spiralling escalation of retaliation upon retaliation, ultimately leading to Earth’s destruction

According to social psychology contemporary thinking, forgiveness is related to a pro-social change in interpersonal motivations towards another person who has committed an offense. Specifically, three changes in motivations are thought to occur when someone forgives an offender:

• An increase in motivation to act in ways that benefit the offender or the relationship with the offender.
• A decrease in motivation to take revenge on the offender.
• A decrease in motivation to avoid the offender.

Whatever. People that know how to forgive are happier and live longer than those that hold grudges. People that know how to work for forgiveness bring great healing to self, life and others.

And we all know we need to regularly forgive and be forgiven. What’s the big deal? Wanna give it a whirl? This is a 5 step plan, with no guarantees it will work. You do get guarantees it won't be boring. If you want guarantees things will work, try the 5 step plan to perfection as a professional.

Step 1

The best one I heard worded in this class of obstacles was, “God forgives, people don’t”. Are you sure you are not using that as an excuse to not even try? Oh, you have tried, and didn’t get it immediately? How hard did you try? Was it not a “quick fix” attempt?

Step 2

Listen with your heart. Humans can’t heal and become whole again until they are able to express their pain. Be grateful when you or someone else is able to speak up about something that remained previously unexpressed. Be forgiving when you or others struggle to express what is so hard to express. Patiently listen, even if it takes listening to the same thing 20 times over, or more.

Step 3

Try making a sincere apology. (Apology Taxonomy) If and when you make apologies, make them personal, grounded, and authentic. Watch the effect it has on self, life and others. Isn’t this beautiful?

Step 4

Understand your own behavior and share true, less perfect, details about yourself, preferably with those harmed by your behavior. Go within and find your source. Investigate, explore, and by all means, allow yourself to see perfection in human details. In accepting our human details we find human perfection.

You may find design flaws (sorry, perfections) in your character, (un)necessary twists and turns in your ways of thinking, and/or (a lack of) some coping skills such as effective communication, problem solving, or dealing with emotional pain. If you overstepped a line, made a poor decision, did something that didn’t work, own those, for these are the very good food and stories to share.

I know I scored high. I found stuff in all four categories to work on! Yeeehaaa! Whatever, whoever says life is boring, is lying!

Share your follies, their (often hilarious) effects on self, life and others, and how you coped, and worked for forgiveness and forgiving. Be serieus when it is required, keep it light when that would work. Learn which to use when.

Step 5

Integrate all steps.Continuous and daily gestures of humanness will demonstrate you teach what you live and live what you teach.

Love, Nynke